Phew. Just back from that whistle stop tour of the far east. Japan, South Korea and Hong Kong. 5 days. 2 gigs. Lots of noodles and a million air miles. My phone didn’t work out there and I wasn’t keeping notes so you’ll have to do with what I can remember, which doesn’t bode well. Here goes.

At Heathrow, on the way out, I bumped into that Jenson Button. He’s a racing car driver. A famous one. Pretty good too, by all accounts. And I seen that Stephen Fry. He’s famous for knowing pretty much everything.

Got hassled by a man (I think it was a man!) in a kilt. Who wasn’t famous or Scottish, just annoying. The flight was mobbed. Watched that film about that heavy metal band “Anvil”. Fuckin’ funny. Metal is though, innit?

Was met at the airport by that girl who invented the “Noel Or Die” sign. Only now she’s made t-shirts. With me as a Simpsons character who looks more like Tom Hanks!! Do I look like Tom Hanks?

Tokyo was hot, damp and humid. Tried to stay awake by shopping my bollocks off. It was a minor success. Had some noodles – real ones – and went to bed. So far, so good. Had a great kip. Unbelievable. 10 hours! A personal best.

Man City was on the BBC World News for meeting that Nelson Mandela!!! MAN CITY!! No one gave a monkey’s ’bout Man City 6 months ago, now we’re on the news meeting world leaders! Now that is mental.

Still hot and humid, only now it’s raining, and I mean raining. Monsoon gear. Biblical.

Missed the train to the gig. No panic. They literally run every 3 minutes. Got to that Fuji Rock just in time to see my old mate and soul brother #1, Paul Weller. Hadn’t seen him play since May. He was well psychedelic. It pissed down all the way through his set. Good though.

Had to drive back to Tokyo after. 3 c**ting hours. Grim as fuck. Still raining. Hard, boiling hot rain.

Didn’t get any kip that night. Not a single second. Flew to Seoul the next day. Feeling slightly mental. I thought I was losing my eyesight at one point. Totally fucked.

Can’t remember much after that. Apart from 2 things. I seen an advert for a play called “Breakout”. It was billed as an “Extreme dance comedy”!? EXTREME DANCE COMEDY? What on God’s green earth is that gonna be like? And what’s extreme about it? The dance or the comedy? Ludicrous dance comedy, more like. Not only that, I seen an Italian restaurant – in Seoul – called “Mad For Garlic”!! MAD FOR GARLIC?!!! And it was fuckin’ packed.

The gig was immense. They really do know how to do that synchronised hand clapping shit in Korea. Spectacular. Jet – the band – were on before us. Hadn’t seen them since that American tour in 2006, was it? They’ve been in the gym, let me tell you.

Flew home the next day (have I missed a day?). Had a 5 hour stop-over in Hong Kong. Caught up with the English newspapers. Mardy-bum John Terry’s not coming to City. Halle-fuckin’-looya. Ate more crisps than even Irie Nancy could imagine. Bored shitless. Slept like a small elephant on the flight home. Arrived at a deserted Heathrow at 5.05 this morning.

Hope this made sense, if it didn’t, fuck’all y’all. It’s 3 o’clock next Thursday afternoon in my head.

In a bit.

GD.

That festival in Germany was pretty fuckin’ mad. It was in an old disused coal mine. All the old machinery had been preserved and turned into a mad gothic industrial landscape. I imagine it’s what the inside of Marilyn Manson’s head looks like.

Gig was great. Kasabian were..actually, I didn’t even see them, I was doing interviews.

Back in London now. Playing The Roundhouse tonight. Then off to Japan in the morning.

I’m fucked. Hope I’m not getting that swine flu.

In a bit.

GD.

Well that gig at The Roundhouse was..erm..very odd. What’siz’name exploded with pretend rage the minute he walked on. Strange cat. Probably on his man period. Saying that, it was a full moon’n'all. Didn’t notice him getting any more hairy though. Mind you, those that were there seemed to enjoy it, so..y’know, onwards and sideways.

Didn’t stick around after the gig. Just couldn’t be arsed. Too many squares for my liking.

Just on the way to Heathrow. Off to Japan / South Korea for a week. My phone doesn’t work out there so there’ll be a break in transmission. Will spill any relevant beans when I get back.

In a bit.

GD.

Hello. Seems like the problems we experienced at that Benicassim were, in the grand scheme of things, minor irritations. The next 2 days were cancelled. High winds caused chaos, by all accounts. There was a massive, massive fire on site. Weller only played half his set before he was pulled off (not like that, you filthy little twat!).

No such troubles up in the Alps here in Switzerland. The fezzies here run like clockwork. Bit nippy though. Didn’t spoil the gig. It was really fuckin’ good. Didn’t see any other bands so nothing to report on that front.

Off to Germany today. Last festival of this little trip. Roundhouse on Tuesday. Then off to Japan/South Korea on Wednesday.

Kasabian are on the same stage as us today. Should be fun.

In a bit.

GD.

The problem was…wait for it…yes! The fuckin’ PA. It blew TWICE!! And the monitor system blew TWICE!! It’s becoming a joke. And not a very funny one.

Those little lads from The View joined us backstage for warm beer. Now, I’m down with the Scotch. Irie Nancy’s one. So is The Mighty I (effectively). No problem with them. But what that lot were going on about I’ll never know. Had to get James from Glasvegas to translate. He was none the wiser.

Weller’s up there tonight. Some of us are going to see him. It’ll probably get pretty messy.

Off to Berne in the morning. That’s in Switzerland.

I’ve got nothing else to say.

In a bit.

GD

Boom! Boom!! D’you know what that is? That’s the sound of thunder – or so my little lad informed me over the weekend.

How’s things? Fine and dandy? Good.

Am in Coventry today. Haven’t been here since, ooh 2 months ago. Came to see The Specials, innit?

After a week of glorious weather while we were away it’s pissing down. C***’s trick. The Ricoh Arena’s mega though. Very tidy. Looking forward to tonight.

My mates “Free Peace” are opening up. Good boys. Top band.

The Enemy are the main band on before us tonight. Kasabian are busy being weird somewhere odd. It’s a homer for them. Should be mad as fuck.

Wonder what Bruno will wear tonight? Mr al Fayed’s shoes have made their long-awaited re-appearance! Life’s been dull without them.

This Mike Jackson thing’s dragging on a bit, innit? Who do they think he is, Jade Goody? Listen out for the dedication tonight. There’s bound to be one. If it’s during Live Forever I may do a little poo-poo..then vomit.

In a bit.

GD.

08/07/09

Well, that was much fun. Shit weather though. Still, no one seemed to mind.

Enemy were great. Hometown gig, and all that. They pulled it out of the hat, so to speak.

Bruno seemed determined, and I mean DETERMINED that no one, and I mean NO ONE was gonna enjoy themselves. Very strange. Y’can’t keep the kids down though.

A couple of The Specials were in attendance. Lynval and Sir Horace, in fact. Lynval came and said hello. What a dude. And my mate Jamie Carragher. Good lad, Carragh’.

Anyway, look, I gotta go.

In a bit.

GD.

14/07/09

Phew! Thank the good Lord that weekend’s over. Been absolutely ruined by the Wembley smash up. Still feeling like a little lump of dog-shit and it’s fuckin’ Tuesday!!

Anyway, here’s the story – what I can remember of it, at least!

Thursday night had a bit of a Thursday night feel to it, if you know what I mean? Incidentally, what a shit night Thursday night has become! No Top Of The Pops. No Coronation Street. Nothing. I bet nothing of any significance has ever happened on a Thursday – in the world of Rock’N'Roll, that is. I bet Altamont wasn’t on a Thursday. I bet Shea Stadium wasn’t on a Thursday. Knebworth wasn’t on a Thursday. We should fuck Thursday off anyway. Cut it back to a 6 day week.

The gig was really good, for a Thursday. The best thing about it though was the magnificent green leather jacket Serge was wearing. Too good for a Thursday.

Friday was a bit of a lazy day. Went and done an interview with Johnny Ross. He’s a naughty boy, Jonathan. He was determined to try and get me to have a pop at the Blur re-union. Not this time. Those days are long gone. Although it was fun at the time I’d like to think we’ve all grown up a little bit since then. He has, and it was funny though.

Saturday was altogether a different kettle of fish. What a night. One of THOSE nights. What an atmosphere! It pissed down but that only added to it. Easily one of the best nights ever. There was some moments, let me tell you. If you were in that crowd, and if I wore a hat I’d doff it in your general direction. I wouldn’t go as far as Mr Bruno saying, “You’re the best fans in the world”. As Arsene Wenger once said, “Everybody thinks they have the most beautiful wife”, or even more ludicrously (is that a word? ..it is now!!), “You’re the best human beings in the world!”?? Nonsense! My kids are the best human beings in the world. Fact. BUT the version of “Don’t Look Back In Anger” was very special indeed.

Which brings us to Sunday. Party time. Another very special night. Lots of friends in attendance. Great, great gig. Not as good as the piss up after though. 9′n’half hours we was in that dressing room. Drinking, dancing, smoking and talking shite. A colossal end to an epic weekend.

Am currently on a train in Devon heading to the Eden Project. Doing that gig we had to cancel last August!!

I must go as I need to strangle a child that’s been crying all the way from London!

In a bit.

GD.

16/07/09

So! The Eden Project. A wonderful place. Particularly for the kids, one would’ve thought.

As for a rock’n'roll show? I’m not so sure. It was a re-scheduled show from last September (did I mention that?) when that idiot broke up my rib-cage. Somewhat predictably it fuckin’ pissed down! SIDEWAYS!! It was raining on stage at one point. The audience were all in proper wet weather gear. Was like playing to the hippies at Greenham Common in the 80s.

All that being said, I really enjoyed it. Quite intimate. 6,000 wurzels. Think there was actually more people in the dressing room on Sunday night at Wembley. Good laugh. Didn’t hang around after, still felt rough after the weekend.

Feel tip-top today though. Which is great ‘cos we’re in Valencia for that Benicassim festival. SCORCHIO!! Having a lazy day. Getting some sun. Basking in the glory of Man City’s spending. Carlos Tevez joined us yesterday (or maybe the day before)!! What an exciting time for us. The Oasis tour finishes about 2 games into the new season. I fully plan to go to every game possible next season. Usually manage about 6 a season. Gonna have a lot of time on my hands in the near future so bring it on. WE ARE CITY.

In a bit.

GD

Urgh..what a hangover! Horrific. Great, great night though. As spectacles go (and I don’t mean the ones you wear) Slane Castle takes some beating.

I don’t think I’ve seen The Prodigy since Knebworth but fuck me, they had it yesterday. Incredible behaviour. You gotta be good to follow Kasabian. They are.

Don’t remember leaving the gig! I feel poisoned. Not looking forward to the flight home AND me and Irie Nancy have got to go to a friend’s 40th tomorrow. More boozing. Shit!!